“I want to become happier” – a global request with which many come to therapy. But what is happiness for you personally? And what habits prevent this state?
So what do we need for happiness? If you dig deeper, behind our answers in the spirit of “earn so much to get enough” and “getting married” will find deeper values: for example, stop suffering and experiencing anxiety about the future, start feeling satisfaction from their studies.
Let’s look at habits that do not seem harmful, but take us away from the cherished happiness.
1. Fill
every day with a lot of business
The life of any adult consists of a mass of “necessary”, of the most diverse responsibilities, from which there is no getting away. Yes, and no need. But besides this, many of us are taking upon ourselves things that should be abandoned.
We do this to feel the necessary, significant, important and busy. Excessive employment helps many to give out their anxiety. For the time being, it works, but sooner or later a person begins to experience exhaustion;suffers both the cognitive and emotional sphere.
How to be? Conduct the “revision” of everything that you are busy with on an everyday basis, and try to relieve yourself of all unnecessary duties. Only do what is really necessary, important or brings pleasure.
2. Communicate with negative people
No one argues: people are people, and it is difficult to suddenly stop communicating with a friend or relative simply because he constantly complains about life, criticizes everything around or is generally pessimistic. It is about learning to build borders and dose communication with such people.
First you should determine how communication with others affects your mood – for this, write down and analyze the sensations after each meeting with them.
3. Worry about the choice that others make
Worry about others, especially for their children and elderly parents, normal. But the anxiety about what others are doing, takes too much our energy. This is their business, their life and their choice.
There is such an expression: « If you love, let go ». This is exactly what it is worth doing. And if you do not like a person, then even more so – what is the point of worrying?
4. To spend too much time with gadgets
We will be honest: most of us are in relations with our devices. Smartphones have long turned into our good friends – they are with us around the clock. Give us what we want, and do not ask for anything in return. They make our life more convenient and entertain us, and for this many thanks to them.
On the other hand, it is precisely because of immersion in the virtual world that we often feel anxiety, self-doubt, a sense of inner void. We begin to think that everything around is more successful and happier than us.
No one says that it is necessary to “tear” once and for all with all gadgets. But perhaps it is time to translate your relationship into an “open” format so that they do not possess you all and your time.
5. Count on the fact that others will make us happy
Of course, others can extend our hand to help, console and encourage us when we most need it. The opportunity to open to another, friend or psychotherapist, without the risk of condemnation – great happiness.
And yet, each of us needs to look for support in ourselves. Only in this way can we become less vulnerable and more persistent, and this is so important in the current unstable times.
6. Worry due to the fact that we are not able to control
The past, future, politics, economics, rapidly worsening environmental situation, words, actions and beliefs of others. There are a lot of things that we are not able to manage, but which make us worry. Imagine what is happening around is certainly important, but it is worth focusing on what is subject to us.
7. Build your life in such a way as to please others
For most of us, it is natural to crave approval and strive to make other, especially loved ones, happy. But, adjusting his life to others, trying to please them and thinking first of all about their needs, we forget about our interests and drive ourselves into a trap.
There is only one life, and you need to live in such a way as to make the main person happy – yourself.
